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Do people really want to hear every thought and news of trivial actions and happenings in my life? Now I admit that my life is comical, but I truly doubt that anyone would really care about the inner monologue playing in my mind while I'm dusting, " Three fans are great to beat the summer heat, but it really kicks up the dust. Black furniture sure shows dust. Was my house always this dirty? The baby is too small... this can't be her fault. Can dust turn to mud if I use a rag with water rather than a paper towel with cleaner? Yep. Gross."

Yeah. Not entertaining.

Notes for the future

I have had the pleasure and the privilege of working with many fine chefs in my life. I have also had a lot of fun reading food magazines and articles, and watching cooking shows for many many years (starting with the now ill-looked-upon Jeff Smith, AKA The Frugal Gourmet). As a result of this exposure, I have a little bit of a good idea of how to cook. I might say I'm a good cook, but there are certainly many who have taken a much greater interest in it that I have in a casual setting.

That being said, I still feel that I would be a great cooking show host. I am so pleased with myself from time to time, and I somehow impress people that I cook for enough to make me think that I may have something here. How great would it be to see a "TV cooking personality" say, "No shit!! That worked?! Write it down or I'll forget!!!" I guess I would say that I'm a cross between Nigela Lawson, Martha, and well, ME!

More Fâmega anyone? ;-)

Today

This is a good day. It's a hot summer day in Seattle. The breeze is blowing. The markets are brimming over with summer berries and tomatoes, and I just signed my child support agreement. Lorelei and I are celebrating with tartines de jambon et brie, salade de tomates et basilique, and lemon-marinated olives. Ok, ok, Lorelei had bananas with pears and mangoes with a side of champagne grapes, but that seems pretty celebratory to me, huh?!

I am also having a great little effervescent wine, Fâmega, 'White Vinho Verde' (as opposed to a verde vino verde, ???) from Portugal. Yum!! It is perfect for a day like today. Run, don't walk to The Ballard Market, or wherever you think you can find it. It is PERFECT for a hot day like today.

I will be truly relieved when (and if) I receive the first child support check, but until then, I see this as a great step forward for my baby and me.

Anyhoo, I've had one too many glasses of Fâmega and I'm having a hard time concentrating. Off to grab a glass of water or three and make some dinner for my beautiful baby girl. My special, special gift from God.

DUH!! JEEZ!!! DUH!!

Here I am looking into my would-be (will-be) competition. Scouring food and travel magazines, the internet, news papers, BLOGS for food-tours and destination cooking classes just WISHING that there was one easy source on the web for me to refer to whenever I have a question. WHY I didn't think of compiling these things on a web site when I was planning on writing a book on the idea is beyond me. Now, the book would be a compilation of reviews of tours and classes that I and my crack team had experienced ourselves, but CHRIST!!! Why can't I pull them all together just for information's sake and review them all later?! I'll sell advertising space to big corporate travel companies, luggage companies, you name it. Hell! Got the world's next best whisk? I and my crack team will give your free sample a test and review it's amazingness right here on our "Things we love" page.

OK, I have some calls to make.

Business plan. Business plan.

That Winning Gimmick

I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for. Something outside of me. I have my own ideas. Good ideas. But for some reason, I have this deep sense of needing to find inspiration outside of myself. Why can't I trust in what I already possess? Why do I undercut myself? I know I have a fear of failing, but I'm not afraid of the risk. I guess more specifically I am afraid of making an ass of myself, but even Bambi slipped on the ice at first. You just have to try, then you'll skate like Thumper.

I take such joy in poring over these Paris blog sites I came across this week. I feel like I am peeking around every corner while on a walk in the Marais. I see so many parallels between the writing styles and interests of the bloggers and my own. I talk about being encouraged by these things, and yet I still feel like I need inspiration from somewhere else. It's like I'm looking for a winning gimmick. That one-liner that'll make 'em roll in the isles time and time again.

I guess a good analogy for how I'm feeling is when the DVD signal gets stuck and you see the characters in your favorite movie quivering in a pose just waiting for the disk to keep playing and get over itself. (The 21st century version of the record skipping I suppose)

Maybe it's guidance and support I need more than inspiration. I'm inspired enough for three people, I just need help turning my ideas into realities.

Encouragement

So I am really loving Meg Zimbeck's style. She is a freelance travel and food writer based in Paris whose style and plays on words are very encouraging to me. She's quippy, fun, and holds her tongue squarely in her cheek while giving great advice in her column Affordable Paris on Arthur Frommer’s Budget Travel online. Her website megzimbeck.com is a wanna-be Parisian's dream with daily pictures of and notes from the city of lights.

I guess I just need to keep writing, follow my heart, and know that I too can make something out of this.

Onward!

The Motherload, and DAMN!!

I receive e-mail updates from Budget Travel. Today I received an e-mail that had a list of 10 Top Paris Food Blogs. I, being the sucker for anything Paris, clicked on it immediately and began to hear the angels sing. I am getting so fired up about getting back in to researching for my own tours that these listings and their contents will be the source of so much great information, I am thrilled.

I was encouraged and worried when I saw that David Lebowitz is doing a tour that is set up very similarly to the format that I was planning; an all included, week-long tour of Paris incorporating other already-established food professionals, tours and classes. It was encouraging because someone is doing it, and his tour is sold out. Discouraging and worrisome because I had not seen any tours like mine, until today. There were just NO week-long tours in Paris to be found, at least not easily. Maybe that in itself should be encouraging. If it's not easy to find then that means that there is a market for it. I say that because I know I'm not the only fool looking for something like this.

Anyhow, I have a lot of reading to do... if the baby will let me.

Here are some of the blog sites I found. Chances are that, if you are anything like me, you have already seen and love a couple of these sites if not all of them. Either way, enjoy!!

David Lebowitz
Meg Zimbeck
Chocolate & Zucchini
Dorie Greenspan
Simon Says is cool for a few reasons, one being that there is a list of restaurants by arrondisement in Paris.

Serendipidy

The John Cusac flick Serendipity was on today. In keeping with the theme of the movie, I can't help but look at Julie & Julia is serendipitous for me. I needed a sign, something to reignite my passion for what I want to do with my career. It has been a year since I really spent time thinking about it and the time has come again.

As I write this, one of my favorite movies is starting, The Witches of Eastwick. I especially relate this movie right now because my body has become one of Cher's "Boobie Dolls". It's funny, topo, that it's cherry season. If you've seen the movie, you'd get that.

Now that I think about it, it's interesting that this movie has come on. These strong, talented (fertile) women manifest what they are looking for. In this case it's a man, but really it's a well thought out ideal that inspires them to find themselves, to find their strengths and passions. In the end, it's not about the man, it's about how they come together to support one another, to live their lives to their fullest, to live fearlessly and to face those fears.

Speaking of living your life to the fullest, I am making baby-step progress with my business plan. I have printed out the template. That isn't a lot, but I've got the babes in tow, so paying attention to it is an effort.

Speaking of the babes, it's time to play.

Dry July

I have decided to have a Dry July. Although I fudged a bit when Reema came over, and really fudged this last Saturday, I am back on the program.

What are the reasons behind this? It's getting to be time that I can no longer blame my baby for my weight. If I have it now, it's mine, not hers. Drinking is expensive. Even my bargain bottles, 1.5 liter bottles and dare I say box wines were adding up. I can't live in the red just for a nicely-chilled white. I am also doing it for my daughter. Taking care of myself has never been more important. Being an older mom, I want to be sure that I am alive and kicking to see my grand-babies. And, well, when one is never enough, it's time to call it quits.

So, here's to ya on this Bastille day. Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité... Sanité.

Progress

I have found a business plan template in MS Office that will work just great! I have started to fill it out and now I need to do some market research and crunch some numbers. I have a lot of the numbers already done, now I just need to find them in one of my many notebooks that I have kept over he last year or two. No worries, it's there, just a little buried.

This is good. I've made some good moves today.

Catching my breath

I need to slow down and breathe. This movie, Julie and Julia, is inspiring me. I want to be in Paris, and I want to change my life, professionally that is, like Julie Powell did. I have a great tour idea, now I just need to get off my butt and do it. I need to stop listening to my dad, bless him, who keeps telling me that I won't be able to get a business loan because of my credit. Who ever said I have bad credit? I need to apply for a loan and have them tell me I have bad credit.

Things to do:
- Free credit report.com. If there's an issue, fix it.
- Write a business plan
- go to the SBA or my bank, hell, it seems that Chase wants to own the world, why not part of my business for a while, huh?
- Set a date for the first trip that may be a 'friends and family' kind of trip just to get any kinks out. Discounted rates just to cover costs for their input and advice.
- Secure contractors on the ground in Paris.


AWESOME!!! I just checked my credit score and it is EXCELLENT!! 733.

OK, now to write my business plan. That won't be as quick a process as checking my credit score, but I'll get it done. I'll set a date. Tuesday, July 28th.

This is encouraging. I need to be my own cheerleader. No one in my family really gets what I'm trying to do and that it is a viable business idea, even in this economy. If anything, this is the best time to do it.

OK, I'm off to research a template for a business plan.

Uugh!!

Fair warning, this in a brain dump.

I started to cry while watching a commercial advertising the release of the movie Julie and Julia, based on the book by the same name. There was a line in it that said something to the effect of, "I have thoughts too" referring to the main character's wanting to do SOMETHING with her life. She had the idea of cooking every recipe in Julia child's cook book and blogging about it. She did it and wrote a book out of the experience. (Great book) Both she and Julia Child did something 'crazy' and made something of it. They also had the support of their loving husbands to get them through it.

I want to say, "I have thoughts too" I want to do something crazy and have it turn out great. I also want the support and encouragement from my loved ones. More often than not I feel like they think my ideas are too crazy, but if I just had one person say, "Do it!" and mean it and help me realize my idea(s), I know I could be successful.

I want to do it for myself. I want to do it for Lorelei. I can't wait tables for ever. I don't want to. I need to find a way to make our living that's NOT behind a desk. Oy!